Minding Your Exit
On ambition, attention, and the illusion of leverage.
I don’t care much for Bari Weiss.
I don’t like her politics, her ideas, or her publication. But watching other people react to her ambition made me question what I was doing with my own.
Over the past year or so, I’ve noticed how much energy people spend dragging someone they claim not to respect—and how little any of that actually does. Something clicked for me watching that play out. A lot of us think talking shit is the same as doing something. It isn’t. It doesn’t stop anything. It doesn’t change who’s in power. It just burns energy you could’ve used to build your own exit.
I’ve seen this dynamic repeat across media spaces I’ve been in over time. Symbolic takedowns get treated like wins. Private commentary starts to feel like leverage. And then, when the person everyone has been fixated on levels up anyway, the reaction intensifies. There’s more critique, more narration, and more certainty that this time it will amount to something.
Related: Cleanup On Aisle Thought
Watching it happen made me realize none of this would move my life forward. Sitting around dissecting someone else’s ambition wouldn’t give me more freedom, more security, or more options. It wouldn’t change my position at all.
I expected more clarity in spaces that understand how stacked this industry is. Spaces where people know firsthand how arbitrary power can be, how rarely merit protects you, and how institutions often fail the people doing the actual work. And yet it’s still easy—even there—to slip into magical thinking. To confuse critique with agency. To mistake commentary for control.
A lot of us think talking shit is the same as doing something. It isn’t.
She was in traditional media, walked away, built her own thing, and did it so well that the institution eventually came calling for her. Not because they suddenly agreed with her. Not because she softened her edges. But because she built something they couldn’t ignore.
That part is hard not to respect. Not because I want her job. But because she didn’t wait to be chosen.
It made me ask myself: Am I actually doing things, or am I just reacting to people who are? Because the people who move don’t wait for consensus. They don’t organize their lives around being liked. They accept being talked about as the cost of going after what they want.
I used to be a people pleaser. I cared a lot about approval, about doing things the “right” way, and about not making anyone uncomfortable. But watching how people respond to ambition (especially ambition they don’t agree with) has been clarifying. People will always have something to say. They’ll critique the politics, the personality, and the path. None of that is avoidable.
So if the noise is guaranteed, what’s the point of structuring your life around avoiding it?
I don’t want my health insurance tied to whether someone likes me. I don’t want my freedom tied to PTO approvals or the constant anxiety of layoffs and restructures. I want to be able to live where I choose, work how I choose, and take responsibility for the risks that come with that kind of autonomy.
Watching how much energy gets poured into narrating other people’s ambition made one thing very clear to me. Critique isn’t the same as courage. And talking about what other people built doesn’t build anything for you.
I’m less interested in keeping up with who everyone loves or hates. I’m more interested in building something that gives me options. Something that lets me move without asking permission. Something that doesn’t require me to stay small to stay liked.
People will always talk. In 2026, I’ve decided to stop listening. ⁂